Desperate Times Call for the Saint of Desperate Cases

Hear me now oh thou bleak and unbearable world
Thou art base and debauched as can be
And a knight with his banners all bravely unfurled
Now hurls down his gauntlet to thee!

I am I, Don Quixote, the Lord of La Mancha
Destroyer of Evil am I,
I will march to the sound of the trumpets of glory
Forever to conquer or die

Hear me heathens and wizards and serpents of sin
All your dastardly doings are past
For a holy endeavor is now to begin
And virtue shall triumph at last!